Random Thoughts: Trophies & Snacks

If you are one of my Twitter followers (if you’re not…@shaunmemerson) or a Facebook friend (I have linked my Twitter and Facebook accounts), you may have noticed that, throughout the season, I have been tweeting about the performance of the 93 lb Glen Eagles Football team I help coach. We have a great group of 4^th and 5^th grade boys who compiled a 5-2 regular season record and, after winning two playoff games, will face another Glen Ellyn team in the semi-finals on Saturday. Last night, the head coach asked me to pick up the boy’s trophies that would recognize their participation in the program. I gladly complied with his request despite my distaste for “participatory” trophies.

Yup, that’s right. I have issues with the broke-ass little trinkets rewarding involvement. When I was young, I used to get a certificate for my participation. Only, the first place teams (and occasionally a runner-up) received trophies. As it should be. So, what triggered the “everyone gets a trophy” movement? Before I give my answer to that question, I think it would be appropriate to share some of my basic tenets for youth athletics:

• Teach fundamentals and teamwork
• Have fun and strive for the kids to find joy in physical performance
• Prior to 6^th grade, spread game time play as evenly as possible. Many leagues have rules specifying minimum number of plays for each player. A good rule given that there is always a (or more) jackass coach in the program who makes it about him and wants to leave the less capable child on the bench.
• Fire these jackass coaches
• Always keep score. Give the kids some credit. They know what the score is and who won.
• Bar crazy parents

If done well, these programs can have a wonderful impact on children. The reward is the thrill after a goal, a basket or a good pass. By giving them trophies, is it possible they could adopt an expectation that there is a material reward at the end of everything they do?  So, how did the movement start? My guess is some outspoken parents couldn’t deal with their son or daughter’s disappointment with losing (even though they’d get over it in 10 minutes) and petitioned a park district or soccer league and, before you know it, everybody’s got a trophy. Everybody’s a winner!  Doesn’t this overwhelming desire to protect and pamper our kids lessen the potential for some early life lessons? These are lessons, by the way, that will not be enhanced by an after game snack, the other atrocity of our youth athletic programs.

After game snacks. Honestly, I am physically agitated just writing this. Here are these kids running off the ball field attacking a parent who has brought juice boxes and Twinkies for the post game celebration after a 12-1 drubbing (sorry I know it’s not about winning or losing). What is this???? Do you have after game snacks in your youth programs? A few years ago, I signed up to coach basketball. One of the player’s moms asked me if I was going to send out a snack list (if you don’t know what this is, it is a schedule of who brings snacks to which games). I politely told her there wouldn’t be a list because I don’t do snacks. She was rattled. Didn’t know what to say. I felt I needed to interject that having snacks after the games didn’t make sense to me. She acknowledged my position on the subject with a nod and a look that told me, in her mind, I was somewhere between a goof and an asshole. But I wasn’t going to be sucked in. I had to take a stand. In this matter, I wanted the kids to enjoy the purity of the sport. If the kids needed a snack after the game, they could relentlessly beg their parents to take them to McDonald’s or DQ like we did.

It’s never too early to teach our kids life lessons. Athletics is a fabulous environment for those lessons. Let’ not cloud it with trophies and snacks.

Am I a relic of the past? A cold hearted bastard? Or are you with me?